Looking back at my older journal posts, I look at how far I have came. A lot of my posts were pretty short, and they looked like I did not put much effort in them. Looking at the more recent ones, like the Conspiracy theories, they all reach on average of 600 words. I am so proud of how far I have came as a Student, and a person, in English this year. Coming into the year, I was super shy about my writing pieces. Now, I am not afraid to right what I feel. If I wasn't enrolled in Fitz English this year, I could not see myself being in the same place that I am right now. I would still be a shy writer, not really aware of my potential. But Fitz found that potential in each and everyone one of us. Whether it was with his Rubrics, or his good old saying "Give a Damn", I always found myself progressing English this year. As I got further along through the year, my quality of writing improved. And improved. I just want to thank my section, for being so delightful on there comments, and being so supportive in times of trouble. I also want to thank Fitz, His rubrics, his positive attitude, everything. Thanks guy for making this year special for me!
My career at the British School of Boston was winding down, and I had recently applied to Fenn aswell as a few other schools. At the time, I did not know much about Fenn, nor was I super excited about going to a new school. I knew that it would be a huge adjustment for me, making knew friends, getting used to the campus, and the overall atmosphere of a new place. But Fenn was different for me. At the 4th grade orientation I was nicely greeted by Drew Coash and Gabe Arnold, there astounding leadership qualities led me to believe I was in the right place. And I was.
The first few weeks felt surprisingly very comfortable. The workload was light, the teachers were nice and the campus was pretty easy to get around. But the one thing that stuck out to me the most about Fenn, is that it never felt like a school. It felt like a home. And for the first time I didn't actually dread waking up every morning and going to school. It was a place where I actually wanted to go, it was a place that seemed happy and fun to be around. The sports, the recess, everything. But never once did I realize that this was just the beginning of my Fenn career.
Now, in my 8th grade I can look back on all the great times I have had here. But this is definitely not the end, I still have 9th grade to go. The most anticipated year of my Fenn career. I remember looking up to those big and tall 9th graders like it was yesterday. Although they did seem quite intimidating, I always saw myself being one of them one day. And it was that reason, that I found myself bringing back so many memories throughout the years. Although these events like Merrovista, or Mr Smith's Social Studies class seemed so long ago, they are still sharp in my brain. Then there are the more recent events, like the D.C trip or the campfire at Windsor. Then there are the projects. The CHP in 7th grade and the explore project in 6th grade. For many, these Projects were extremely stressful. But for me, I found these to be extremely fun and easy to do. Its these fun events that keep me going. After being here for five years, you would expect it to be boring right? No. There is always something new every year, more independence or even a new part of the campus.
Then there are the smaller things like fun study halls messing around not really doing work, or getting procrastinated off my homework from time to time. Its these small moments that add up, and make something special. Along with this brought many new friends, that I would have never met if I didn't make the choice of going to Fenn. I've been in a class with almost everyone in my grade, and it was a great experience meeting them all. This is an experience that not many other schools offer, as you are in the same classes with the same kids, which makes Fenn different. There are so many things that make Fenn different then other schools, which is why it is such a special and privileged place to go and why I believe it doesn't feel like school at all.
Looking back over the years, I realize how much I have changed as a person. When I first came to Fenn, I was not very confident about talking in front of large groups. Fenn changed that. I quickly was involved in the drama program at Fenn performing in “Johnny Appleseed” as the grandma. My legs were shaking, and I really was pretty nervous about going in front of a hundred or so people and performing. But once it was over, it was the biggest relief. My confidence has grown every year to the point where my legs don't shake as much or at all if I'm on stage. This confidence is going to be something i'm going to use my whole life. Whether i'm presenting a project in front of a group of people, or I'm performing a play, I will always have my confidence as my backbone. Before I came into Fenn, I never really did play sports much outside of school. I spent most of my time kicking a soccer ball at a wall or just skating around a public rink. But I was never really involved in team sports. Fenn changed that. I quickly became involved in Lower School sports, playing games such as capture the ball or ultimate frisbee. I was so inspired by these team sports that I began playing sports outside of school like Soccer and Hockey. And if I didn't decide to go to Fenn, this probably wouldn't happen. I would be a lazy couch potato sitting down and doing nothing. Fortunately, this didn't happen and my passion for sports continued. Even on the worst days, and the days I didn't feel like going out there, I always pushed myself through it. I found that pushing yourself through the hard times will make life a lot easier in the long run.
Wow. Just thinking about not going to Fenn makes me wonder where I would be right now. To tell you the truth, I don't know. I probably would be going to Weston public School doing nothing but sitting at the back of the class not doing anything, not learning anything. I would still be afraid of walking up on stage and talking in front of a group of people or playing Sports. I have grown so much as a person physically, and mentally in the course of my Fenn career, that is going to be so crucial as I get older. Fenn changed me, and I am going to be forever grateful for that. I'm going to go through my ups and downs, but when it all comes down to it, my confidence to speak up and say whats right will save me. I have also had my ups and downs here at Fenn, some days I feel great and I want to go to school then there are other days where i'm just not feeling it. Those are the days where I just have to push myself through. And I always find a way to do so.
The past is history. Now I have to look towards the present. Next year is going to bring new opportunities for me, being a leader in the community and expanding my confidence more as a student. It will be a huge chance for me to show myself how far I have a came as a Student, and a person. It will also give me some new independence, something I have never really experience before at Fenn. I'm going to have the independence to make choices that I think are right for me, and right for my peers. Its going to be a completely new experience. Something that I have been desiring since the beginning of this journey. And its something that I will finally reach.
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside while still alive."
Over the past couple of days my interest in 2pac has been increasing. I've been listening to his music, reading his quotes and hearing about all these crazy conspiracy theories that he is still alive. Before coming into Fadayz's dance class I never really knew much about 2pac. I had heard a few of his songs like "Changes", but I never really knew much about him. I learned about the ideas of "Fake Rappers" and "Real Rappers" and how 2pac is a real rapper and people like Lil' Wayne aren't. I found it really interesting. So I began doing some research on rappers like Nas, Biggie and even Jay'z. All of them rapped with meaning, and they all rapped for a reason. I enjoyed all of there songs more than I enjoy modern day rappers songs because they have meaning. I actually listen for the words, and to understand what they mean. After thinking about it, I like 90s rappers a lot more than the rappers we hear now.
After reading a bit more on 2pac, I realized they never found out who shot him. This brought up a lot of theories that he never died, and all this other stuff. Here is some stuff that I found to be pretty interesting.Before 2Pac died, He began calling himself Makaveli. Machiavelli was an Italian war strategist who had the idea of faking one's death to fool their enemies. 2Pac was a fan of Machiavelli and had read his books which leads me to believe that he had the same idea in mind. Before he died, many people did not like him, he knew he had his enemies and he wanted to find a way away from it. This might have been it for him. Another thing that caught my eye was the fact that 2pac got cremated the day after he died. Its strange because if someone was murdered, you would expect there to be autopsy results right? No. Ofcourse there were leaked autopsy results released online, but anyone could have posted something fake. Its just strange to think that someone would get cremated without an autopsy. The third reason 2pac’s death might have been faked is that 2pac always wore a bulletproof vest. Now, if your always wearing one, how come the one time you don’t where one is when you get shot? Strange. With all this in mind, its hard to figure if 2pac really did fake his death, he are my thoughts.
I personally think that 2pac is still alive. I know, I know. How can someone fake there death for that long of a time? I don’t know. But there are just so many facts pointing that he is alive, that I can’t imagine him being dead. Faking deaths, everything. Listening to all of his songs really makes me think, imagine if he actually came back. Imagine all the media uproar that would cause? It would be crazy. It would be pretty insane if 2pac was alive, and Im sure he would bring some changes, and new ideas to the world.
"If you're studying for an exam you're not thinking about the results. If you're always worried about the results, you can't study a lot. So to be engaged and detached from the outcome is excellent. Excellence is behavior. I mean, isn't that what martial arts is about?
And that's what meditation is about, that's what, in many ways, sports are about."
I never thought the year was fly by this fast. As I count the days left of school, I've realized we only have 15 more days of school till exams. I know, crazy. So far, I have not really talked about exams in any of my classses. Now, this could be a good thing or a bad thing. Sure, it can keep the stress away, but eventually it will bite you. I think it is important to start focusing on exams now, rather than later. I don't know anyone who likes stressing out the night before studying everything.
For some reason, I'm not to nervous about exams this year. I don't know why, but I feel more experienced about exams, and I know exactly what will happen. Its going to be like past years, nothing different. Once exams are over, the year is over. That's what a lot of people look at it as. And if you look at it that way, you can look at it as if that is what the outcome of your year was. You want to finish strong. I don't know anyone who doesn't want to finish strong in anything. Whether its sports, school or anything. You want to do well. If you prepare yourself in the so called "practice" then you will do well in the game. Exams are like that big game at the end of the season. It all comes down to one test, one score. It sucks, but its true.
This happens every year. You end up coming into the exam thinking its going to be super easy, then it ends up being the hardest test you've ever taken. So? You don't study. And by not studying, you are just making it worse on yourself. And the by not studying you end up screwing yourself over. Come exam day, your tired, you don't want to get out of bed. Nothing. You just want to sit down and pray to god that you do well. When you study, you actually want to get up out of bed, then go to school and get it over with. And that feeling you get after you finish the exam, the best. Every exam you take, you eliminate a class. BOOM! Math down. Next Spanish. E.T.C. And when its all over? Summer.
The point of this is to make sure you study! You feel awful leaving school at the end of the year ending bad in a class. You always want to finish on a good note. No matter if you hate the class, or love it. I found that if you study for the exams that you hate the most first, rather than later its much easier. You get the stuff that you have troubles with over with first, then once your done with that you go to the class that's a bit easier and so on. Exams are suppose to give you a general idea on how your year went. If you do bad? You do bad. But no matter what, You always. Always. Try harder next time.
"The world is in a constant conspiracy against the brave. It's the age-old struggle: the roar of the crowd on the one side, and the voice of your conscience on the other."
Over the past couple of days, I have been increasing my interest in conspiracy theories. It really interests no matter if they seem realistic or not. Not only that, but they sure do make you think. I can be thinking about a conspiracy for hours on end, just wondering different ways it can, or may be true. And there are so many of them, so many. I can go from site to site reading about new, more interesting theories too read about. Then you have to think, there are so many out there. Some of them have to be true.
Here are some of the conspiracy theories that I found to be extremely interesting. A lot of them may seem pretty unrealistic do you guys, but if you really think about them twice you never know.
Sandy Hook Elementry School Shooting
I know what your thinking, there is no way that the Sandy hook shooting was a hoax. But some of the facts may prove your wrong. Many wonder how Lanza, with such little experience with weapons can successfully kill so many people. Some also believe that Lanza was not even a real person! Then they blame the government! Some say that this was setup to start support for a assault weapons ban. Which in a way, can make sense because if someone hears that kids died because of a assault weapon they can assume that it was the weapon that killed the person not the person themselves. In a way, I somewhat agree to the government theory, but then again, there is just no way the government would go as far as killing 26 people 20 of which kids.
Now, I am not denying that Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK on Nov. 22, 1963. But I'm still debating whether or not he acted alone. There is no way Oswald was the only JFK hater out there, there had to be more. That means more people that could be a possible suspect. Many people have began to believe that the trajectory of the bullets, didn't square with Oswald's gun. Some believe that there was a second shooter believed to be located on the grassy knoll of Dealey Plaza. There are a ton of conspiracy's based around the JFK assassination, but this is the one that has stuck to me the most. And because of the fact that Oswald died before being able to go to trial, This Theory might always remain a mystery.
This is one of those events that caused a ton of conspiracy's. The one that I believe the most, is that bombs were planted in the world trade center. Now, I find it hard to believe that a plane can knock down the World trade center alone. It had be attempted before but it did not work. Then many architects and scientists found that the plane's fuel could not produce enough heat to melt the steel frame of the buildings down. And even if the plane hit the impact zone, the world trade center was designed so that if a plane did hit, only the impact zone and above would take the most damage. This is also another conspiracy theory that may always remain a mystery, but then again wouldn't Al-Quieda be open about admitting to planting bombs inside?
I really hope you guys will go check out some interesting conspiracy's. There are a ton more to read about but these were the ones that interested me the most. I would be glad to hear your guys opinion on some of these theories in the comments below. My thoughts? Well, most theories might never be discovered. But its the mystery that keeps people thinking. Although most theories might never be solved, I find it interesting to think about some of this stuff as it happened. Imagine if you were there during the JFK assassination, and you went to the supposed spot where a "second shot was fired" imagine how you could change history as it is today.